WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WEREN’T AFRAID?
Last year I sat down and asked myself that question..
A couple hours later I had no joke a 4 page list of things I would do if fear weren’t a factor..
I saw myself running around the beautiful beaches of Thailand I once was suppose to go to 3 years ago.. A camera roll full of one in a lifetime adventures with my best friend.. A confident and fearless woman in the pursuit of happiness with life. I saw myself chasing dreams that once weren’t left in my comfort zone.
The next question that kept replaying in my head: What’s holding you back?
I cried when I said out loud “yourself” I think sometimes we all forgot just how powerful we all are as humans.. How at any given second we can honestly change anything about ourselves and our lives. Yet we remain the same. Life feels “fine” where it’s at.. The comfortability and the knowingness to what everyday awaits.
I felt that way a lot when I was working at the tanning salon since I was making good money and always had the same schedule which included OT. I just felt myself afloat and going with the motions of things. Like I really didn’t have to think much about life, like I didn’t really need to prepare or learn or grow because I was stuck. Mostly because I let myself be.
I won’t lie: getting in my car accident had the biggest impact on me making dreams to reality since that’s when I felt myself afraid and fearful. Of what was next, that feeling of “I don’t know what’s coming” but after I developed that into the mindset of “What’s next? And what can this teach me?” that’s when I wanted to start diving into the unknown. Letting the fear turn into excitement and changing the way I looked at things completely. I started realizing first: how precious life is and second how I can’t let myself stay comfortable or I’ll always remain the same.
My solo roadtrip for 10 days was that first check mark on my 4 page list.. I can’t lie at all I was so scared and had so much self doubt but hands down was the best experience of my life so far. It taught me so much about myself and I connected in all the parts I hadn’t before. Again something I wouldn’t have done without a little push start..
Now about to be checked off the “bucket list” or the “things I would do if I weren’t afraid” – My Thailand trip.
Honestly it was crazy how simple it all felt too.. making it come to life. (Despite the money, the planning, the time, the effort and the research) It felt like it was just so simple to do. Because it’s what I truly really wanted to do. You forget all of that when it’s your dream.
That’s the difference between doing things for yourself and others.. When you’re doing things for yourself and what you know will make you the happiest. You find yourself doing all the things you never thought you would just to achieve that one thing..Tasks that once were so daunting become almost fun because it’s a learning experience. All the time you spend on it doesn’t seem wasteful since you know it’s going to be beneficial. And that’s why I feel it’s truly so important to have some sort of big dream or goal at the end of all of this – something that makes you want to wake up and try at it again because it’s what you damn want. Not just be in the motion of things. It’s important to do something that challenges you and makes you grow and think. Or what is this all really for? I think a lot of people stray away from bucket lists or real conversations with themselves in hopes they won’t ever have to answer that question. For what reason though? Because most goals and dreams usually don’t involve others or are in some way labeled selfish?
If there was nobody or anything holding you back.
What would you do?
Do we stray away because we “know” we won’t ever accomplish it? Because fear will always be in the way?
It’s crazy how a thought can become an idea, an idea becomes a dream and it can only stay as that or be set out into reality. We are so powerful yet we forget
I WROTE THIS LETTER TO FUTURE ME MAYBE AS A NOTE TO SELF? BUT I WANT TO PUT IT HERE WITH YOU GUYS AS WELL.. FOR ANY OF THOSE WHO COULD YOU USE IT NOW OR THEN. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE..
I hope you feel scared in life. And if you don’t, then I hope you get out of that comfort zone. I hope you jump into the unknown.. You just dive full force in, not think about it or dip your toes in to see how it feels. I hope you just fucking go for it. Time is limitless. There’s so much to do in the world. You’re as young as you are right now. And you can make dreams that you call plans at any given time. Life is at the grasp of your fingertips and I wish someone would have told me that sooner. That life is scary and you’re suppose to try things that get your heart racing. It will always make for a great story and become the best memories of your life. Nobody ever told me that the fear of the unknown is just self doubt. That it can be easily replaced with a shift of a mindset.. That it’s the start. The start to a journey. The start to a growing process. The start to finding the known within the unknown. The start of what could be the rest of your life. The start of a journey in yourself. I hope you’re scared in life right now. My god because it means you’re fully alive. So I hope you just go for it.
Sometimes you have to be brave enough to say goodbye to a life you’ve known in order to say hello to the one you want.
Thank you for being here with me on this journey guys.. I don’t feel I ever say it enough or will be able to. But thank you. For letting me vulnerable and share such real pieces of myself and my life with you, for never judging, for letting yourself find you within me, for supporting me.
I will never be able to show it enough how much I love you guys.
I really do believe you and I can achieve anything we want. And make a dream to reality.
Thank you for being Lost in a Dream with me.
With lots of love,
Niki